I was talking to a very dear friend (who know who she is--Hi! I miss you!) recently, telling her some of the things I was working on, when she suddenly said, "You know that story in the scriptures about the guys who are given the talents, and the two guys with 5 and 2 go and trade their talents and make more, and the guy with 1 buries his?" uh, yeah. "I think you may be a little guilty of being the one talent guy. You kind of are a talent burier." I hope you can tell from her candidness that she is a very, very good friend who cares a lot about me. Only she, and maybe some in my family could get away with a statement like that. I've been thinking about that a lot.
A LOT. Do I? Am I?
I reviewed the story in the scriptures for myself one day (See Mathew 25) while I was thinking about our conversation, and came away with the conclusion, that I am absolutely that guy. I am a talent burier. In the scriptures, he says that he buried his talent because he is afraid of losing it. It's ironic that the thing that he does to keep it safe is the thing that makes him lose it.
If I don't develop my talents, they will be taken away, not because God is mean like that, but because without exercise, the talent fades away. Plants die when they aren't nutured. Muscles weaken when they aren't exercised. Skills are forgotten when they are not practiced. Testimonies don't keep; they need constant refreshing. On the other hand, those skills and talents we do take the time to nurture grow stronger, and we are given more.
My friend is right (as per her usual). I do have talents that I am burying. I have established this blog as a way to share what I'm learning with friends and family. But I am afraid. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm bragging? What if some weirdy finds my blog and uses the information for weirdy things? What if someone leaves a negative comment? I struggle, struggle against those thoughts all the time. I'm really not quite sure where to go from here, but I think understanding it a little better and expressing it openly is helping.
I will attempt now to unbury my talent, and take it to where I can make it into more talents. This is not going to be easy for me, and I may realize more than once along the way that I've buried it in a new spot. I'll try to notice and unbury it again. I was given this talent for a reason, and I don't think the reason is to bury it.