Dev turned eight. Eight! I feel so old. I remember when I was first married and there was a lady at church who's oldest was five, and she had been married for seven years and I thought, "Wow, now SHE is old!" Now I have an eight year old, and I've almost been married ten years. I'm old. But it's ok. I'm coping with it.
On the day Dev was born, I woke up at about 5:30 in the morning because I was uncomfortable and I had to go to the bathroom. I remember the weight of my belly and the momentum I had to muster to get out of bed. After I finished my business, and got back in bed, I started having contractions--steady, but not strong--five minutes apart. At 8:00, we decided to go to the hospital. They almost didn't take me because they didn't think I was progressed enough, but then the doctor came in and broke my water, so then I had to stay. Dev was born 11 hours later.
I had no idea what to do with her. I was so afraid she would start crying and I wouldn't know what to do. Or worse, she would get sick, and I wouldn't know until she was...really bad.
The most fascinating thing has happened this year. I spent so much time just seeing to Dev's basic needs, and teaching her basic life skills, that I was surprised to realize this year that not only do I not need to focus so much on keeping her alive anymore, but she is turning into a very capable young woman. She can do her own laundry, and make her own lunch, (and her brother's), she can get herself up in the morning, and dress herself, and get her own breakfast, and take care of her own dishes, and make her bed, and bathe herself. I still see her sometimes as the little baby I brought home from the hospital, so this is amazing to me.
Even more amazing is the day she and I were sitting at the table working on crafts and chatting and I realized that I really enjoy her company. I really find her thoughts interesting and incredibly intelligent for an eight year old. She's teaching me things now. I realized that she's becoming the person I hoped she would be, and that I like that person as a friend, as well as love her as my daughter.
I think that was partially the goal all along, but it's nice to recognize it, don't you think?
Beauty for Ashes
19 hours ago