I feel like writing tonight, but I'm not sure what I want to write about. I have this desire to write, you know, connect with my family and friends and make my mark on the world, yet when I sit down to write something I hit a big fat wall. So I turn around and go play a video game. That's easier. I think part of the problem is that I blog at night after the kidlets are in bed. At this point in the day, the creative juices are not a-flowin' anymore, ya hear what I'm saying? I'm tired. And I want to just sit and relax and do something mindless. Yet, here I sit, typing nonsense onto the computer screen for some hapless wanderer to find. No doubt your brain is as frazzled as mine if you are still reading this far.... (huh?)
Yet, despite all the mind melding techniques employed on me daily, I usually hit this stage of the day feeling happy. It's a happy thing to have children that are tucked into bed, safe and sound, happy, fed, and loved.
It's a happy thing to live in an age of instant messaging. I miss my friends and family intensely (more than I let on). So I am more than a little eager to read the goings-on in their lives every night. Can you imagine the gaping mouths on our pioneer ancestors if they knew how fast our communications would be someday? (pick yer chin up off th' floor, Maude!)
It's easy to get into a rut, and start thinking that things are busy and hard. Indeed, they are busy, and they are hard, but they are also good. That last part is so easy for me to forget. On those nights when the tucked-in little ones come untucked, or thirsty, or whiny, or rambunctious for the ba-zillionth time in one night, it's especially easy for me to get the inside grumblies. It's easy to yell and demand that they get the heck in bed and stay there so I can play the video game in peace, dang it!
But I have a good life. A hard, tiring, busy, but definetely good life. There are things I have gotten very good at, things that need perfecting, and things I'm not even close to perfecting. It's great that I have the opportunity to work on those things. I should be thrilled everyday with the life I am living because it's what I always wanted. It's not perfect, but it's what I want.
ooh! and that just gave me a great idea for tomorrow! oh boy, I can't wait to blog again tomorrow! bye!
19 hours ago